I went to get a consultation from a senior (“top”) hair dresser today, to inquire whether short hair would look good on me. I like an androgynous lesbian look in theory, but I don’t want to be identified as lesbian by other people since I’m not one, as much as I would like the look.

And what was supposed to be only a consultation, turned into a haircut!

The hairdresser said that he could tell that I’ve been thinking about this realistically and it wasn’t spur of the moment. I’ve been thinking of cutting my hair short for about 5 years, basically ever since I started losing it in larqe quantities. It’s not that bad right now, but my hair would normally be about 1/4 thicker.

As soon as I sat down and he set his fingers on my head, he said that my scalp is dry and tight and in bad condition and he could tell that I’ve lost hair. I had thought that short hair wouldn’t be as forgiving in that sense, I thought it would show more how my hair is thinner, but it’s actually better now! It’s like normal hair. :)

It’s a little messy because I wore a hat on the way home and I haven’t yet figured out how it should be arranged. My hair grows in different directions all over, but I’ll learn that soon by experimenting.

I like my “sideburns” in particular (if someone knows the actual term, pray tell me!). They make the hair cut look more feminine. I also like how there is longer hair on the top. I can make different looks by changing the parting and combing it in different ways. :)

AND my earrings show better now too. AND my hair won’t be on the way when I do krav maga! AND no more 20 minutes every day just to untangle it so I can put it on a ponytail, which basically makes me look like I have no hair. By cutting off the length, I actually feel like I have hair again.

Here it is, finally, after two long years! My first published article in a conference proceedings volume.

This is following the International Conference on English Historical Linguistics 15, which took place in summer 2008. Apparently this is the first volume, with 14 articles. I have no idea how many volumes there are altogether, but I think it’s nice to be picked among 14 articles covering historical changes in English syntax.

Besides, pink and red is a beautiful combination. Here’s the table of contents:

Mine is the article on prevent. My professor’s is the one on the TIME corpus. The editors wanted us to cross-reference to our articles, but neither of us saw any point to it…

It’s kind of funny now, considering that I’ll probably never take up my postgraduate studies again. Having an article published and some conference presentations under my belt might even be a hindrance in my CV when I apply to jobs elsewhere than in the academic world. So I’m not exactly underlining it, it’s just there. Something I did.

Well, there is a student in England who’s working on prevent and other verbs of prevention. She’s enthusiastic and has been asking me for help a lot, apparently thinking that I’m a lecturer at the University of Tampere. Whatever, it’s not like she’s my competition anymore.

As more time goes by, I feel more certain that it was never meant to be. I simply don’t feel at home in the field of research. There were too many external issues that I couldn’t stand at all, unrelated to the actual work. And I could never convince myself I was doing anything useful. It’s no help if others think it’s useful if I don’t believe in it myself.

I’m not supposed to be a thinker. I’m supposed to make things happen. I’m happy with my life like that, and I think that’s what counts the most. Why pursue something that doesn’t make you happy? I believe we only have one life, so it doesn’t make any sense at all to waste it when you know what makes you happy and what doesn’t. I’m lucky to have found what I enjoy doing.

My beef painting is almost finished, but not quite.

This time I focused on adding light with white, so the face overall is much lighter color now. I softened the eyes and mouth and added light to the hair and beard, too. The face definitely looks more 3d now.

It’s interesting to compare the last two versions side by side (see below). I changed the jawline a bit, and the added white makes the face look bigger and more protruding now. I’m happy with the eyes and eyebrows, finally. Since the paint had dried, I was able to fade out the eyebrows a bit, as they used to look too dark.

I also made the eyes slightly more downward sloping on the outer corners, as on the model. The look in the eyes seems more realistic too, like the person is looking the viewer straight in the eye. There’s still something about them that makes them look slightly different from the model’s, but it’s not too drastic. I also like the mouth more now: it’s a bit wider, as it should be. I sharpened both the eyes and the mouth with a hint of black.

Now I’m itching to glaze the whole thing, perhaps with green or blue, maybe even yellow. A glaze can subtly change the hues and make the lines and transitions between colors look softer and more natural. After the glaze, I would highlight the white parts again, as I have been taught. I think those two procedures might be the final touches. I’m very happy with the painting as it is already.

After taking the painting to the storage room, I started on another — a semi-profile of my beef, surprise surprise. Since it’s still in the sketching stage, I did not take a photo. But in my next blog post, you can finally compare the model photo with my finished painting, if all goes well.

It’s nice to blog like this, after each painting class! I have a hunch, though, that after these two paintings I will have a hiatus from efficient painting. So far I don’t have any ideas what I will paint next, but there’s still weeks until I’m done with the second one.